I can't say I was really inspired by the weather outside, because here in Edmonton its friggin cold. But I decided to give my blog a spring makeover. Formally 'The Path of Promise', I now want to look at my situation with a little more humor and acceptance, hence 'The Road Less Fertilized'. That's not to say I won't have anymore 'poor me' posts cause everyone has those days and a blog really helps to get out those emotions. But I have been much inspired by all the ladies struggling with IF and their blogs and I hope to see things with a full range of emotions. So, spring has sprung and a new phase begun.
Here's Ruby at almost 6 months old. She's looking like a shaggy dog and not a puppy anymore. Next week she will be going for her first big haircut and also she'll be gettin rid of her lady parts. I don't think I could survive a week like that but my little girl is a trooper. She has been such a comfort to me during this tough time and I am so thankful we got her. She's a sweet dog who just needs to learn a few more things but overall I can't complain. We started our 2nd session of puppy classes yesterday and she just loved the puppy socialization part (puppy playtime). She was racing around like a little greyhound while this big black dog tried to catch up with her but couldn't. Her little running displays lately makes me think we should try to learn Agility. She learns pretty fast and it would be cool to compete. But let's just see how she does in puppy class. There were some puppies in puppy class who were so shy, timid and not liking the other ones. It made me feel good that I took the effort with Ruby when she was smaller to socialize her the best I could and it has paid off.
I will update post haircut next week (which will probably be a total shave because her hair all over the place in driving us nuts), non-shedding breed my butt. The best thing about dogs is that they live in the moment, so when she wants to play fetch over and over again I just let my thoughts melt away and throw.
Yesterday I took Ruby for a walk around this huge (man made) lake, its about a five minute drive from our house. As I was getting out of the car with Ruby, I heard a distinct sobbing noise. I looked around to see if someone was in trouble. At first, I couldn't tell who it was then I saw her. She was probably in her fifties, she had brassy, short red hair and her face was as red as her hair. I looked intensely at her to figure out why she was in such distress. She was walking to her car alone. Then I noticed she was carrying a small pet kennel, it was empty. In the parking lot, there is a mini mall which has a veterinary office. It finally clicked in my head, that this woman had just put her pet down. And here I was just getting out of my car with my 5 month old puppy.
I wish I could say I was brave enough to run up to that lady and give her some sort of comfort, but I wasn't. Just thinking about the day when I will have to take my Ruby to the Vet for the goodbye trip, was even too much to bare. I saw the women look at me through her car window, and I prayed for her to have comfort and be strong. All of us pet lovers think of our pets as our children - our little kids who always need us even till the end. I hope the red haired lady will be OK, I'm sure her pet was special to her and I know how rough this time can be having to had four dogs put down in my life. Its amazing how much sadness we have in this world, I feel sadness everyday waiting on the opportunity to be pregnant and not having it come to fruition. I also feel hope, and I hope one day soon the red haired lady and I will both be graced with new children in our lives.
I'm 38 and DH is 41. We got married in September 07. Being naive in the ways of the fertility gods, I assumed getting pregnant would be no big deal. And here we are two years later and alot more educated on infertility and why my old eggs aren't cooperating. Took me 35 years to find my soul mate, don't know how long it will take to create a soul in progress.
Oct 07 - Went off BC Oct 07 to Nov 08 - BBT, OPK Feb 08 - Told by GP had to wait one year (of TTC) before could be referred to RE Sept 08 - Asked to be referred to RE, found out waitlist is close to one year (this is how Canada works) Oct 08 - Went to see RE in California on visit to relatives, and had HSG and ultrasound done,both OK Oct 08 - DH had SA done and was OK (or so I thought) Dec 08 - Clomid Challenge Test OK, Sperm morphology 8% (ideal should be 14%) Feb 09 - Did one cycle of Clomid Jul 09 - 1st Appointment with RE at local Fertility Clinic, more bloodwork, another SA and ultrasound Sept 09 - had follow-up appointment Sept 09 - First IUI attempt cancelled due to cyst in ovary Oct 09 - 1st round of IUI failed
Nov 09 - 2nd round of IUI failed
Jan 10 - 3rd round of IUI failed
June 10 - IVF #1 - 2 embryos -BFN Oct 10 - FET #1 - 3 embryos - BFP
Oct 10 - BFP!!!! Jul 5/11 - Expected Due Date
Patience is the art of hoping. -Marquis De Vauvenargues
TTC - Trying to Concieve
IF - Infertility
AF - Aunt Flo (My Period)
HPT - Home Pregnancy Test
CD - Cycle Day
DH - Dear Husband HSG - Hysterosalpingogram RE - Reproductive Endocrinologist SA - Sperm Analysis BBT - Basal Body Temperature OPK - Ovulation Predictor Kit DPO - Days Past Ovulation IUI - Intra-Uterine Insemination B U/S - Baseline Ultrasound TCM - Traditional Chinese Medicine U/S - Ultrasound LPD - Luteal Phase Defect IVF - InVitro Fertilization ET - Embryo Transfer 2WW - Two Week Wait BFN - Big Fat Negative FET - Frozen Embryo Transfer