Going to Make It Happen

Haven't posted for awhile because I was trying to keep my mind off things. I had a meltdown on Sunday, when I got my period. I was expecting it really, but sometimes these things just hit you off guard when you are so hoping for it not to come. And my DH, had gone to watch the Superbowl with his buddy. They wanted me to come out but I didn't feel like it, so I just picked him up later. I was upset, and when my husband is on the drunk side he is actually super consoling, which I liked. He said 'Let's make this happen, whatever we need to do let's do it!'

This is my husband's usual attitude about life, but a bit amplified with a few beers. I took this new mantra and am running with it. I will be 38 in November, and I want to be pregnant this year! I've been waiting around for things to happen, doing the Clomid, waiting for the ridiculously long wait list at our fertility clinic (in our city in Canada) and I just can't wait anymore. So, I'm going back to my GP and insisting on a referral to the clinic in Calgary which is three hours away but is the closest one that does IVF. IVF is a big commitment of time and money but I am just going to jump in feet first and make this happen. I know this is not full proof but if I do the next 'step', then that would be Clomid with IUI, which I read has a 5-10% increase in my chances....no way that is not acceptable. I need to go for the 50% increase in my chances, and since we basically just paid $4000 for a super couch for our basement, we can spend the $10,000 for our family to get started here.

I need to be positive, I need to be proactive, and no more moping and hoping.