Blame Game

Eleven days until the 2WW is over and I am paranoia-city, but managing it better than usual. I was doing some yoga and did a twisting pose and of course 30 seconds after I did it I gasped! I shouldn't be doing twisting poses, but it was already done and if there is a little one inside (less than 1 mm) I'm sure one twist isn't disaster. I got over this quite easily where as a few months ago I would have obsessed for days.

I also have been taking some digestive enzymes with my supper, just because I've had digestion issues in the past and I want to get the most out of my food these days. I decided to read the bottle again for some reason, and lo and behold it read "Do not take if you are pregnant". Great I thought, been taking them for the last week.

What do you do? There are so many little ways you can think and read about how you are doing things to make this pregnancy not happen. Its such a blame game and I'm so sick of it!! Basically, I'm getting to the headspace of the fact, the real fact that I'm old and my fertility chances are slim because of that. And its no ones fault that I'm old, that's life --this is where I ended up trying to have a baby in my life and I have to get rid of the guilt for everything else. And there was no way of me trying when I was younger because I just met my one and only DH at this stage of life. Basically, I can try to be the best healthiest me I can be and that will help tremendously but only IVF is probably going to make this happen if its going to happen. Time to get rid of the Blame Game!