Just Not Feeling It

Well, its beginning to look ALOT like Christmas around here. Big snowstorm is billowing down on us, as I write this. Hasn't stop snowing for hours. Weird to say it, but its finally nice that winter has arrived, doesn't feel like Christmas till it does. So, I'm feeling like its Christmas but not feeling like I'm pregnant. Had my IUI on Wednesday, and let me tell you that was 'no day at the spa'. First, the nurse who I warned I had a retroverted uterus tried to insert the catheter and failed (after inserting two different speculums ---ouch!!) Then, my RE who I hardly ever see when I go into the clinic decided to give it a go and while he tried to make the experience as comfortable as he could, it was painful. And I felt cramping and pain for the rest of the day.

So, of course being my paranoid self I thought for sure that it hadn't worked because it was such an ordeal just to do the procedure. We did some back-up baby-dancing just in case. And now the wait, but I think I've already convinced myself it hasn't happened. I don't want to say its negative thinking, I just don't feel it. Also, I'm taking progesterone suppositories this time and I'm not sure if its because of that ---but I'm major bloated 24-7. Its horrible. And I'm thinking, I'm going to be taking these for the next two weeks for what reason?? Oh well, I guess if I feel this way and this happens to be the time, I will be surprised, big time pleasantly surprised.

And Now I'm TOO Reproductive

Well, either you have no eggers going or you have six. On Friday, my RE made it sound like I had a million eggs growing. Or as she liked to refer to them "the litter". Which I didn't appreciate too much, being compared to a dog that is. She was threatening to cancel my IUI altogether. Of course, I was panicked and did what I do when I'm panicked....research. I went online to research what happens when IUI's are cancelled. Well, most people on blogs seem to go ahead and have sex even though their doctors insist they don't. I was all prepared to be a rebel and go for it! I also read a few journal articles that said even with many follicles growing a woman over 35 has like a 1% chance of actually having a super-multiple pregnancy. OK, that was what I needed to have a fighting chance with my RE.

So, I prayed and hoped that only a few of my eggs would be front runners and would have grown that extra 2-3 mm bigger than the stragglers. This way I would only have three not six and my RE wouldn't have to worry. And boy did I pray, I'm usually more of a silent, inside my head pray-er but not this time. I raised my hands to the sky and was shouting my prayer to the heavens (hoping God would hear the louder me). Today, we went back for another U/S and thank goodness I only had three follicles that were really big. And I tried to convince the RE that at my accelerated age, multiples shouldn't be much of a worry. She somewhat agreed, cause I think last time I was there she must have just looked at me and not at my chart cause she said "You are so young, don't worry about a cancelled IUI". And I was like, young --- What??? I've been told I look younger than my age. Anyways, IUI is scheduled for Wednesday and I will be praying loud all week.

Pincushion Time Again

Off to races for IUI numero 2. I had an intern do my Baseline U/S this time. She is the same one who did my first IUI and had much trouble inserting the tube because of my tilted uterus. So, of course I was super worried she didn't actually get it in there. It was weird, I could feel when it wasn't going in because it would bunch up inside the canal there. Anyways, I raised my concern to her about my short cycle and how this luteal phase defect is weighing on my mind. At first, she didn't want to prescribe me the progesterone but I insisted and she spoke with my doctor and he said sure! So, yeah me for being my own advocate. Not sure if this is what I really need but they said there was no great harm in taking it, so why not? Also, started taking some Vitamin C, because I read that a study showed that helped women with LPD. So, that probably brings my supplement count to like 20, my daily pill box almost doesn't fit all the vitamins/supplements I'm taking.

My DH talked to his sister who went through the IUI process with each of her three kids. She told me a bit of her experiences but wasn't very forthcoming with information (or didn't feel comfortable talking to me about it), we don't quite connect. Anyways, she told DH that it took 4-5 IUI's to get each of her kids. So, that makes me wonder how many I should go through before heading to the IVF route, which I don't really want to do if necessary. I could probably take one more month of this but two or three more I don't know.

Not Quite

So, this IUI was a bust. Just got AF yesterday. Sadness of course, but also must look at this as a way these doctors can actually help me. Since induced ovulation was at CD14 and I got my period this time on CD25, which is the shortest cycle I've ever had in my life. But it shows what I suspected, that there is something wrong with my luteal phase. My regular cycles are usually 29-30 days but I would ovulate (according to OPK) late around CD17-20. I am going to ask RE about how my progesterone was this cycle and maybe get on some additional meds. This could have been my problem all along and thanks to this failed cycle maybe we are one step closer to solving it.

38 and feelin' great, great, great

Happy Birthday to me
Trying to have a baby
My one birthday wish...
Bun in the oven already