Saturday, February 21, 2009

Ruby's Growing Up and I'm Closer to IVF

So, my little pups is just a growing and growing. And she's thankfully growing out of some of her bad puppy habits like biting everything. She gets to go to Doggie Daycare for the first time next week and I'm sure she will have a good time. Can't be super fun sitting with me at home all day.
I will be doing this 2 day temp job, so Miss Ruby gets to go mingle. We have a pen for her at home, but I just can't stand to leave her in it for a whole day. Plus, the times we have left her in there she totally shreds the puppy pad (where she is suppose to pee) to bits -- pretty much telling us 'I hate this pen!'

Today, I will be attempting to put together an IKEA book shelf, that has a desk that attaches. So, Miss Ruby will probably have to sit in her pen to watch me do this because I know all my little nuts and bolts will slowly disappear if I let her around the 1,298 pieces of IKEA stuff I'll be dealing with. So, great news is that my California doctor is definitely referring me to the IVF clinic I need to go to. But I still don't know for sure how long the wait time is. Hopefully, not more than a couple of months. Of course, still praying this month is going to be it --- but I know that would be an act of divine intervention, but you never know.

So, here are some updated pictures of my Ruby. She's turning into quite a protector of the house, her bark is way low and doesn't suite her cute little self, but if it scares the bad guys away that's all that matters.

Friday, February 6, 2009

One Step Closer

I just found out today that I can be referred to the IVF Clinic --- well the one that is closest to me anyways (3 hours away). And that the doctor I saw in California is allowed to do this for me. He's out of the office until February 13th, so this will be a long week for me waiting for his response. But just knowing that I'm one step closer, has made me very happy. I feel like I'm in such limbo right now. I just want to try something to get me closer to being a mother. Just found out two more people I know are pregnant, one who is a close friend and one just from seeing it on facebook. Oh, facebook the good, the bad and the endless displays of baby pictures. Really rather torturous for me, but I still go on there everyday.

So, although I haven't been per say religious or spiritual lately I have decided to use the power of prayer this month. I am praying everyday to get pregnant (this month), so I won't have to go through the IVF stuff, but I am wiling to accept what will have to be done, no matter what will be.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Going to Make It Happen

Haven't posted for awhile because I was trying to keep my mind off things. I had a meltdown on Sunday, when I got my period. I was expecting it really, but sometimes these things just hit you off guard when you are so hoping for it not to come. And my DH, had gone to watch the Superbowl with his buddy. They wanted me to come out but I didn't feel like it, so I just picked him up later. I was upset, and when my husband is on the drunk side he is actually super consoling, which I liked. He said 'Let's make this happen, whatever we need to do let's do it!'

This is my husband's usual attitude about life, but a bit amplified with a few beers. I took this new mantra and am running with it. I will be 38 in November, and I want to be pregnant this year! I've been waiting around for things to happen, doing the Clomid, waiting for the ridiculously long wait list at our fertility clinic (in our city in Canada) and I just can't wait anymore. So, I'm going back to my GP and insisting on a referral to the clinic in Calgary which is three hours away but is the closest one that does IVF. IVF is a big commitment of time and money but I am just going to jump in feet first and make this happen. I know this is not full proof but if I do the next 'step', then that would be Clomid with IUI, which I read has a 5-10% increase in my way that is not acceptable. I need to go for the 50% increase in my chances, and since we basically just paid $4000 for a super couch for our basement, we can spend the $10,000 for our family to get started here.

I need to be positive, I need to be proactive, and no more moping and hoping.