Slacker

Such a slacker with the blogging lately. I started my nasal spray (suppression phase) yesterday. Have to really focus on remembering to nasal pump four times daily. Yesterday, I was so busy with going to a funeral, meeting a friend for coffee, then finishing painting a room at my in-laws. I still remembered to take all my doses miraculously. Everyone keeps telling me "I feel it, this is the one", God do I want to believe that. Its definitely going to be the least stressful one. I am going with flow as much as I can and just seeing what God is going to give me.

I basically have a resistant uterus (and I now accept that) and live in a country where you can't shop around for another fertility clinic. Well, you can but you basically have to go to another city and forfeit any type of a life. I'm feeling like the last three years have been a waste for so many reasons, I'm just not willing to do that. I have two more tries and if I'm meant to be a mother this is when it will happen. Otherwise, I will get to sleep in for the rest of my life, not change any diapers, take as many vacations as I want and not have to worry about babysitting arrangements, always have a fairly clean, organized house and be a overall happy person (I say this in reference to the study done recently that said people with kids are less happy than people without). Either life path would be perfect, just have to wait and see how the 'guy upstairs' rolls the dice. Since I'm through putting the burden of fault on myself....no more of that. Guilt should have no place in IF.