It All Came Together Anyway

So, there I was freaking out in February because its been 16 months of 'trying' and nothing. I'm 37 and I don't want to wait anymore. I wanted to speed things up so bad and just get this assisted pregnancy stuff happening if I needed to. I got the referral to the clinic in Calgary (in February) and they called me a couple weeks ago to make my first appointment in July, I thought now I'm cooking. But also with actually moving on with my life I am going back to school in the fall (this will be my third go) -- going into a totally different career again.

I think my family/friends get whiplash every 5-7 years when I tell them I'm trying on a new career, but more on that later. So, I get the appointment and am thrilled, get the information package and am more thrilled. I read the timeline of what is involved in IVF then I get a bit nervous. Not just for the outcome of the IVF but for the juggling of doing the IVF, doing school and commuting back and forth from Edmonton to Calgary (3 hour drive each way). As much as getting pregnant is my #1 priority, of course I start getting overwhelmed just thinking about juggling all these things. I don't like getting overwhelmed. Then, what happens ??? the next day I get a phone call from the Fertility Clinic in Edmonton (after being on the waitlist for 9 months). They have an appointment for me in July and I'm just about to turn in down because I know they don't do IVF. Then the receptionist informs me they have started doing IVF in September!!! Which really I think they should have plastered this information all over City Hall, Bus Stops and Street Signs, so people like me would know what the heck is going on!!! So, I basically put myself through the stress of the Calgary referral process for nothing. I can do the IVF at home, and not have to travel.

I cannot believe my luck. I hope this works out OK, because having this process done at home is of course ideal, considering if by time I start this its coming on fall/winter. So, just goes to show as much stress we put on ourselves for no good reason, it all comes together nicely in the end. Now, I hope I will be saying this in a few short months after the IVF.

Off the Waitlist

I am officially off the wait list as of one hour ago. I finally made an appointment at the Fertility Clinic. I am so happy. Everything to do with IF is so about waiting, its so hard to live 'in the moment' when you go through this process. But I can be happy today in this moment knowing I have an appointment on July 16th. Yes, that is 6 weeks away which may seem like an eternity for some but for me that's nothing. I can actually now plan my summer and live my life not being in limbo of the dreaded wait list. I guess for those of you not from Canada and going through IVF you may not know the torture that is the wait list. In Canada, even though everyone here is covered for health care (though IVF is not covered but significantly cheaper) you have to wait, and wait and wait for any referral to any kind of specialist including the RE.

I am lucky as I did speed things up by going to California to see an RE, who then referred me to the clinic here. But otherwise I would still be waiting to see the RE in Edmonton (I was referred Sept 08 and haven't got a call yet), who would then refer me to the RE in Calgary (where they perform the IVF). So I am at least 6+ months ahead of the game. So I consider myself very, very blessed.

Now, we have two months of 'trying' for the bargain price of $0 before we have to lay down our $6,000+ for IVF. But I know I'm just in waiting for more waiting:

1) Waiting to start IVF

2) Waiting to see if I produce some good eggs

3) Waiting to see if we produce some good embryos

4) Waiting for transfer

5) Waiting for positive HPT or Beta

I AM happy today, the rest can wait.

Phone Tag and Pinchy Uterus

So, finally finally finally the Fertility Clinic called and left a message for me. I'm so special. I was expecting this call three months from now, so to say this is a pleasant surprise is an outrageous understatement. Now, if I could only get a hold of this lady to confirm my first appointment. Is the appointment going to be in one short month from now or three months down the line? Well, I could find this out, if only we weren't playing agonizing phone tag. I call and leave my cell number she calls my house number, I call back and leave my house number she calls my cell. Needless to say I'm never around the phone she calls. But at least, she knows I want the appointment and we will be getting around to making it soon.

Interestingly enough I am 5DPO and feeling some slight cramping and pinchyness in my left lower abdomen. Who knows, I'm just saying its a little weird. But I've had these kind of pangs before usually 10DPO which is always accompanied the next day by AF. Not sure what to think of it. This is the 20th cycle of trying, wouldn't it be great? Can't ever let the hope die, but I am not holding my breath. I will be happiest when I actually get through to that lady at the Fertility Clinic, that will be the highlight of this week. And we will see if something interesting happens /or doesn't happen next week.

Waiting For Backyard Oasis

So, we moved into our house in July 07. It was a brand new house in a new development, so given we didn't have a backyard that year. The next year, our builder said they would do the rough grade on our yard in May, it didn't get finished until September. Partly Builder's fault, partly Mother Nature as it rained all bloody summer last year. So, that summer just was torture without a yard.

Now this year we are really trying to be on the ball and get our yard done pronto. Now that we have the puppy, we are just dying for this yard. We thought she was thoroughly house trained but lately now that she is 6 months old she is having accidents on the carpet. We have had her checked out by the vet and she may have some sort of bladder inflammation/crystal forming condition. I think that if we get the yard done, she will be better because when I take her for walks or to the dog park all she wants to do is pee and pee and pee. I think she has figured out that peeing outside is natural for dogs and that's what she wants to do.

Tomorrow we are probably going to go pick up some patio furniture because we just can't wait.
Would love to get one of those patio fire pits too. And I'm going to go crazy planting things in the backyard, flowers, vegetables, bushes, trees the whole shebang. I didn't realize when you move to a new development how deprived you feel of nature. There's nothing surrounding us but dirt and dust and more dirt, I long for anything green. So, by June I should have my backyard oasis, then me and Ruby will just be lounging babes.

Facebook Drama

So, Aunt Flo strikes again. And I don't just mean my monthly tampon demon, I'm speaking of my actual Aunt whose name is Florence. I blogged about her before http://soul-in-progress.blogspot.com/2008/12/af-af-af-how-i-hate-thee.html. I'm kinda into posting links that I like on Facebook these days, so I decided to post the link for Exhale magazine. I was just thinking it may help some people who are my 'friends' on Facebook, who I don't know super well because they are friends of friends or my husband's friends wives. Since the magazine deals with issues from IF to miscarriage to stillborn. So, I put the link up there and then I get this response from her (Aunt Flo):

"I'm so hurt you have to go through this. All I can say is from when I was trying to get pregnant, the best thing you can do to get pregnant is not thinking about it and not wanting it so bad. And also, Vitamin C is the key to getting pregnant".

This is the abbreviated version, but you get the drift. I thought well I just invited that in, didn't I. I thought about it for a day after I read it, then in the middle of painting one of the bedrooms in our house I just had to drop everything and write her a response.
I was so mad, so I wrote:

"This is the journey I am on and I am dealing the best I can. What I don't need is flippant advice about Vitamin C and that not wanting something will make it happen. If you read the magazine I've linked maybe you could get a better perspective on what people with infertility go through and you could show some more sensitivity".

I am not one to usually fly off the handle like this but I don't like this Aunt anyways, so I thought it was the perfect outlet for my hostility. I don't like being a friend with her on Facebook anyways and this gave me a perfect opportunity to block her, which I did. I don't want her commenting on my life no more. So, she did write me a response which was like a novel in length, all about how she says she tried for her kids for 6 years which I think is a bunch of bull since you don't go from being IF for 6 years to having 3 kids in less than 4 years (which she did).
She was probably ignorant to when she actually ovulated (being the late 70's and all). Then she continued to write about good ole Vitamin C and then went on to name countless people she knew who have had miscarriages. Just because she knows people who have gone through this, she obviously doesn't know the appropriate thing to say to people. Oh well, good riddance.

Footnote: A little gossip and back story here. This is one of my Mom's 5 sisters who is just a nutcase and has borrowed countless sums of money from the extended family and never paid it back. She owes one of my Aunt's $60,000, and this Aunt she owes is single and now of pension age and barely scraping by. So, Aunt Flo is just one of those relative you just don't want to be related to.