AF, AF, AF How I Hate Thee

So, guess who's back in town. You guessed it Aunt Flo! Or as I say to my husband every month 'The Bitch is back'. I'm referring to AF as the bitch not me, I'm rather pleasant around this time of the month, somewhat weepy at times but not bitchy. Two ironic things come to mind when talking of AF, first when I was twelve I couldn't wait for her to arrive the very first time. You read 'Are you there God, its me Margaret', and can't quite believe this is going to happen to you. Then you feel a little competitive with your friends as to who has it and who doesn't. You want to become a woman so bad, you are just praying everyday for it to come. Then it does.....and then you think why the hell did I want this! I had horrible, horrible cramps when I was a teenager, missing school type, taking tylenol until you get high type. I didn't figure out or was too embarrassed to actually go to the doctor and get the right medication till I was like 17. Ahhh, the magic little blue pills, made those two days of the month so bearable again.

And now, I am hoping every month Aunt Flo will not make her arrival. But yet here she is this month, in all her glory. And I want to shout from the rooftops how much I hate her right now. I mean I don't want her to go away forever yet, that would mean I'm real old. I don't understand why she doesn't want to go on a nice vacation, a lovely 9 month cruise. I keep seeing this commercial for tampons where a stylish older lady depicting 'Mother Nature' is handing out a red present as the monthly gift to women going on vacation, and telling them their tampons won't be good enough for this monthly visit, well I'm glad to finally put a face to my misery. Now I just need to find that lady and tell her to leave town for nine months.

I'm hating AF so much, I want to write on my Facebook status "I HATE AUNT FLO", but the other ironic thing is that I actually have an aunt named Florence. And lo and behold, she is actually one of very few people over 60 who actually is on Facebook. I should just do it, because I don't like her very much either, it would be doubly cathartic. Don't worry I won't, remember I not a bitch.....yet.