Security Blanket

I was just reading my book, 'The Lovely Bones' and one scene spoke of the father tucking the son into bed. And how the father would lift up the sheet and let it fall over his son like a parachute. I had an immediate flashback to my mother doing that to me. I probably haven't thought of that in decades.

What a great memory that is. The safeness of being in your own bed and the comfort of having my mom envelop me in the fresh from the dryer comforter. The smell and the warmth of it was the ultimate meaning of security blanket. It's so funny how you forget so much of when you were a child, you remember the significant, tramatic things but the simple things that were the small fibres of your development drift away.

It made me wonder this morning as I sip my coffee and look out onto my snow field of a backyard, if I will ever get to let the parachute drop on my own little one. Tucking someone in every night in my own house seems like such a dream. A dream just to have a little one who relies on me every moment of the day for their security. Sometimes it seems like an overwhelming task that no one is totally capable of taking on. I know I am ready though, really ready. I am just waiting for the universe to spark the beauty of life inside me. Maybe it will never come, but for this moment (which is all I can live in), I must believe that it will.