TGIF, Thank God I'm Fertile. Oh right I'm not! But what a better way to spend my Friday morning but to get a vaginal ultrasound. During this ultrasound my RE declared that I have 'The Ovaries of a Teenager', although he laughed and said he never does ultrasounds on teenagers. Though if he did, he said mine would be right in there with those teens. Well what do you know? something about me is young. My hair is 50% grey, the wrinkles are a-coming and I don't feel comfortable going to nightclubs anymore but my internal organs are ready for the prom, go figure.
While I was enlightened by this news, I was just as quickly given a blow to my confidence when I went to make a follow-up appointment. Which turns out to be in mid-September. This is ridiculous....I am 4 months away from turning 38! Every bloody moment is precious to me and they are making me wait this long to talk about the next step. This sucks, I'm so mad. I thought for sure we would be doing my first IUI in August and now we have to wait until September just to assess, I don't even know if I get to do my IUI in September either. I keep calculating in my head now old I'll be when my kid is 20, if I'm not pregnant until next year....58 (that's like retirement years). Makes me question if I am too old to even consider this. I know for damn sure I want a baby, but is it fair to let this child have older parents (by choice).
I've been really emotional about this today. I don't know how much more of this waiting I can take, without just giving in the towel. I really want the next six weeks just to fly by...guess I will be making a lot of patio margaritas this summer.
It's been a long time! Part 2
12 years ago
Hopefully these next six weeks FLY by for you!
ReplyDeleteTurning 38 last month was really hard for me, too. I spent a lot of nights lying awake agonizing over why, why, why didn't we start trying sooner? At least you have a ute that's half your age! ;)
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard. I am 37 (38 next June) and it feels like every stage of this process is so slow. We have an almost 2 year old who was easy to conceive but this time, things are different. Between dh's urologist's appointments and my stuff, I feel like this will never happen. If it makes you feel any better, there is a friend of mine at church who tried for 17 years with no results and then got pregnant the first time at 41 and had another at 43 with no complications. Hang in there.
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